Column geht’s noch?: in love with survival

Construction Minister Seehofer has a plan: For those who can no longer afford a roof over their heads in the cities, flourishing landscapes are open to them.

It’s so beautiful in the countryside! For example, in southern Brandenburg Photo: dpa

You just have to move to the countryside, says Horst Seehofer this week in an interview with the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, in which he is asked about the housing shortage in his capacity as Minister of Construction. There is still plenty of living space. Citizens are too much "in love with the cities."

This is reminiscent of the Sarrazin method: If you don’t do anything or don’t do enough or are already paid enough but not adequately, you have to dress warmly instead of heating, and for dinner you get sliced bagged bread. And instead of an apartment in the city, according to the Sarrazinhofer, a hut somewhere in the swamp is now available for the losers who no longer fit into the city. Not without humor, the FAZ illustrates its commentary with an empty street in Oderberg, Brandenburg. Not even a tumbleweed can be seen there.

Does Seehofer even know what "in love" means? That is a state beyond all reason. Like voting CSU. As if one could choose that! And of course we are in love with the big cities. Simply because we don’t want to die. Because in the countryside, the doctors move away and the Nazis stay. That is not healthy. We also don’t want to become lonely because the DB has closed another branch line. No one visits us, and – perfidious plan – no one comes away.

"No region in Germany should be bled dry," says Seehofer. Too late: After all, the state, which is also Seehofer’s state, has ensured for decades that rural areas are left behind in terms of infrastructure. It sells off the railroad, and the now privatized company turns out to be – surprise! – turns out to be not so sweet. As if in mockery, it lets its ICE train race right between Magdeburg and Stendal. Wave, kids – that’s the country out there.

And then there’s Charlotte Roche

It’s nice in the country, wrote Charlotte Roche in the SZ magazine after the mature experience of several weeks of country life. In the city, she continued in her lively and balanced way, everyone is sick, criminal and addicted to drugs. Yesterday, she still lived there – then, of course, everyone in the country were the assholes.

Speaking of which, even the author always has a much better digestion in the forest. The peace, the air. But shitting is not everything. Seehofer should move to the countryside, where the cattle also belong.